PLEASE! No more Kardashians

Please! Be merciful! Show me no more of Kardashians! It seems like every time I watch television or go online or read a magazine, I have a Kardashians or a Jenner thrusting a headshot at me. It’s has become horrifyingly creepy. It’s bad burlesque. They are like the Addams Family of the media. Is it something I am missing? Are the tabloids and magazines on their payroll? I personally can not find a reason to find them remotely interesting. But there they are, smugly leering into their camera shots like they know some hidden something and are laughing at us; all the way to the bank.

I don’t want to sugarcoat this too much, but if I were captured by the enemy, all they would have to do is make me watch 15 minutes of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and I would give up all our military capabilities, troop movements, and my mothers maiden name with her social security number to get them to stop the torture.

Not to put too fine a point on it, if I were swimming, lost at sea, almost exhausted and come  upon the only island available in the ocean occupied by Kardashians, I would take my chances and keep swimming to find another without water, hopefully infested with mosquitos and cannibals. I am a normal person, and just couldn’t take the weirdness of being around Kardashians for too long. They might become an indirect influence on me and that’s just too much to bear.

If you have the stamina and research the lives of these people, it will read like a bad television show written by drunken, drug abusing script writers who have also skipped their antipsychotic pills. It would be laughable as a TV sitcom or drama and immediately cancelled. No one would buy into the storyline. Only low class reality TV can tolerate it. Actually, it would be a better as a cartoon. Let me summarize  a little of it for you:

This epic begins in the land of fruits and nuts, California. A mom and lawyer dad divorce after having three daughters and a son. Then mom marries a former Olympic champion with three sons and a daughter. Mom and the Olympian have then two more daughters. Kids grow up. Older daughter goes to college and gets degree in theater arts, does a reality TV show for charity and then gets to be in a reality TV show about the family, opens some clothing boutiques with mom, start clothing lines and jewelry lines with her sisters, does some bad acting, does commercials, gets sued, writes a book with her sisters, gets in a relationship a drunken, womanizing douchebag and has three children out of wedlock with him in an off and on, rollercoaster ride of a  relationship.

Middle daughter graduates high school, elopes with a record producer but marriage fails quickly, hangs around with trashy socialite, makes a sex tape with a rapper which is plastered all over the world via internet, appears in family reality TV show, does some spinoff shows, endorses lots of commercial products, poses for nudie magazine, does some bad acting and dancing on TV, gets sued, involved in more fashion ventures with sisters, wrote a book with sisters, does bad music video, gets married again to basketball player but drops him after 72 days, sues people who says it’s a publicity stunt, sues some more people, gets sued by more people, starts dating a rapper (who thinks he’s Jesus and wants to run for president in 2020) during divorce from basketball player, and has rapper’s baby.

Meanwhile, mom and Olympian stepdad have a falling out so she gets a boy toy; and he finds his inner woman, starts cross dressing and now wants to be called Caitlyn.

That’s it! I’m through! I’m mentally exhausted summarizing just this much. There are others in the story but I think you get my point. The rest of the brood are just as strange. I do have to give some credit to Rob Kardashian. He had enough, took his ball and went to play somewhere else. And he’s the only one with any kind of bonafide talent, as was shown on Dancing With the Stars. I guess the only way to get rid of them is to not buy their crap and stop watching their antics on reality shows. They have made their millions and can now slink off quietly into oblivion. But

do you realistically think that’s going to happen to people who are notorious fame junkies?

History will not be kind to the culture we live in now which is dominated by these reality shows. They will surely think we’re all pathetic idiots for watching them and buying into the hype they perpetuate. And some will deserve the title.

We are definitely living in the dark ages of television.

Touché.

 

 

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