The Sad Fall of Kanye West

It has been long in coming and is way overdue, but the sad fall of Kanye West may finally be at hand.  When you thrust yourself in the public eye, there is a certain standard that you must adhere to, or that same public will assuredly bring you down like the Hindenburg…collapsing to the ground in flames. And Kanye West has met every criteria of morphing himself into an egocentric megalomaniac as has ever been seen in modern times. It seems that historically any celebrity that shows humility, charity and compassion during their rise in the limelight will go on to achieve great success. It must be something in the human condition that wants us too see the underdog win or the lonely gather a following or the loser take defeat to a later victory. But then along comes a Kanye West who gets so wrapped up in his own celebrity that he becomes distasteful, annoying and pathetic. Like he’s striving to fill a massive void in his life that reeks of emptiness and personal failure.

Kanye West made a name for himself in the Hip-hop music scene as a producer, then later as a performer. He did very well and became quite a success winning awards and making a fortune. I do not listen to that form of music personally because I do not like it’s structure and lyrical form. That is not an attack on the music itself, as I do not care for opera or classical music either, and many others. It is a personal preference that all people have relating to their own personal appetites and perceptions. Therefore, I would probably have never heard of Kanye West until his highly publicized marriage to Kim Kardashian. At that point he jumped into the deep end of the pool of notoriety with a mighty splash. For some reason, any man who seems to become involved with a Kardashian devolves himself into personal destruction. Just look at Lamar Odom, Scott Disick and Bruce Jenner (excuse me Caitlyn). I don’t know what it is but I would avoid those women like I would a starving Great White Shark.

I think Kanye West’s illustrious spiral down the rabbit hole began when he somehow convinced himself he was a true “genius” and consistently declared it to the world.  The pure definition of genius has never been clearly defined but proclaiming yourself as one, will not and does not make you one. Being announced as a genius by your peer group and lackeys does not make you one either. If that were so,  we would all be geniuses based on our mother’s view of us. Jumping on stage during a nationally televised awards show, verbally attacking the winner and saying the choice was wrong, is just petty and small. Not the sign of a smart or savvy man much less that of a genius. Saying you are running for President of the U.S. in 2020, based on nothing but your perceived popularity, is just ego run amok and not the sign of a genius. Saying you are, or comparing yourself to Jesus Christ is just insanity and belies a more serious psychological problem.

With that kind of ego stroking, you then think you can delve into other venues to continue to keep your self-deluded genius dream alive. Like trying to become a fashion designer. Yeezy has had three years of clothing lines come out and all have been dismal critical failures in the fashion world. You can sell some of the clothes for exorbitant prices trying to start a social trend, but it has no foundation and will soon go the way of hula hoops and slinkys. Fashion is a very fickle business like that unless you are truly gifted at design.

Then declaring yourself 53 million dollars in debt and asking others for money is a veritable sign of failure as a businessman. I am sure other businessmen will want to give you their money to squander away like  wind-blown leaves off the trees. Releasing a new musical album and not allowing it to be sold except through your friend’s music company is just plain stupid.  And attacking news outlets for commenting on music based on your own racial prejudices is commercial suicide.

I actually feel kind of sorry for Kanye West. A kid with talent in a specific area, becoming so enamored with himself, that he is becoming comical and wretched in all others. But there is always the possibility of redemption. Kanye West, you know what to

do to make it right…just do it! Learn restraint. Get real again. Come down off the monument you erected for yourself and be mortal, like the rest of us. Twitter is your second worst enemy, after your ego. And modern comedic sages have given us your prophetic maxim: “You have the right to remain silent, just not the ability”.

Remember: The higher you climb, the harder the fall when you hit bottom.

Touché.

 

Space Tourist Anyone?

Need a quick vacation that last’s for a few minutes and cost’s between a measly $75,000 to $250,000. Well, being a short-time space tourist may be the right path for you. There are several companies that will soon be competing for your business; taking you to the edge of Earth’s atmosphere, and then hopefully bring you gently back to terra firma. But there’s always that nagging little thought of being totally dependent on under-developed technology, questionable machinery and human error looming over the entire commercial enterprise. And we all know that’s a perfect, favorable situation for a flight to the fringes of space. Personally, I’ll leave this trip to those who have nothing left to live for.

But there is always the suicidally adventurous who will jump at any opportunity to put themselves in harm’s way for the thrills, I guess. So let’s just look at what’s available for the next recognized D2S2 (Don’t Do Stupid Shit) recipients:

Virgin Galactic: This is one of the big players of the new frontier, established by billionaire Sir Richard Branson. The company will soon unveil it’s new SpaceShipTwo. Just a note: SpaceShipOne won the 10 million dollar Ansari X prize in 2004, but it later crashed in a test flight killing one of the pilots due to human error. Yep…sure did. This little beauty is designed to be flown by two pilots and carry up to six passengers on a trajectory to reach suborbit at an altitude just of 62 miles (which is the accepted boundary line between aeronautics and astronautics). It will initially piggy-back off the ground on another aircraft, then at 50,000 feet engage it’s rocket propulsion system to reach suborbit. When you get there, the cabin is supposedly roomy enough for passengers to float during a few minutes of weightlessness before beginning an unpowered glide to a runway landing. This is the $250,000 ticket holders adventure into oblivion. And I can see all kinds of working parts and scenarios that must work perfectly for this trip to work out in the passenger’s best interest, for that few minutes of weightlessness. At least, the trip has been tried a couple of times with SpaceShipOne…a good trip, a bad trip.

Blue Origin: This little wonder comes from another billionaire, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.  His project will use a vertical-takeoff rocket topped by a re-usable capsule for a suborbital “hop”. It is designed along the same concept as Mercury 7, which took Alan Shepard into space in 1961. It also will carry six passengers aloft, but will reach suborbit then fall back to Earth using a parachute. Once again you get the perk of a few minutes of weightlessness before your flight degrades and you have one helluva plummet back toward Earth; for a supposedly gentle landing wherever the parachute and prevailing winds decides to send you. Oh, a caveat: there will be no pilot on this winner. You will be totally at the mercy of technology and re-used machinery. Blue Origin has been tried twice, both being successful but unmanned.

XCOR Aerospace (Space Expeditions): This venture doesn’t have a billionaire backing it. You will be guided to space on a concept owned by greedy stockholders and a money-grubbing CEO who’s bottom-line interest will be profit, not safety. This sweet ride will also use the same concept as Virgin Atlantic’s SpaceShipTwo, except it will take off from the ground via a runway on it’s own. No piggy-backing for this rocket-plane called the Lynx. It will convey a single pilot and a single passenger to suborbit, and has the capability to go beyond, which can get you into actual orbit. Then you will possibly be screwed and have to go around the Earth until you get back to your home runway, as long as the oxygen lasts. This ticket will be a steal at only $150,000, which was a recent rise of 50%  enacted by the Board.  It has not been tested yet, successfully or otherwise. We can call this a commercial pipedream at present.

World View: This company envisions taking passengers to lower altitudes reaching “near-space”, at around 100,000 feet, in a capsule suspended below a para-wing and a helium balloon. Now at almost 19 miles high, it would still give a wonderful view of the Earth but you get the avoidance of all the stresses of G forces endured by the other methods during a rocket flighted trip. You would simply float up to the preferred height, hang around for up to 2 hours, then the pilots start venting the helium and you float down until they jettison the balloon; then the parawing takes over and you land,  again, wherever the prevailing winds put you down. Plus it has a toilet on board so you can drink near-beer, and then can pee almost in space.  And if your prone to airsickness, you can almost vomit for your friends and strangers. Take a camera for sure!

Space X: Then there’s the last billionaire to play in space, Elon Musk. He is concentrating more on the lucrative ferrying-crap-into-space-for-NASA avenue at this point, but if there’s a spacebuck to be made, he’ll soon be pumping money and hope into it. But based on his Earthbound ventures and recent rocket fiascos, I would just as soon take one of his over-priced electric Tesla cars on a 500 mile trip through the Sahara desert. An  expedition of certain doom.

So, let’s take us the little trip down Reality Lane again. Here’s the clue: If NASA, who has the smartest and best rocket scientists on the planet…EVER; who are safety conscious to the extreme; are financially backed by the biggest economy in history; if they haven’t done it, it’s either not worth doing or it can’t be done! So why should we put our trust, health and safety in a company who’s bottom line is their quarterly profit margin, for a trip that relies on perfection? Question for future sociological anthropologists, I guess.

I’ll just stay on the ground where the undertakers won’t have to pick me up with a spatula to slide me in the crack of my coffin.

Touché.

Robots Running Amok?

I was reading a report today about the possibility of our spiraling into a dangerous future if we let our technology get away from us. The headline on a Daily Mail article read “Rogue ‘Terminator’ robots which can kill without human orders could become reality in just a few years.” Well, that’s a bit much! All of us know that our technological advances are increasing at a steady rate but the scientist’s anticipated predictions always seem to fall short of their unrealistic warnings. One day, very soon, there could be the possibility that clunky, clattering machines will replace humans doing mundane tasks but I think these scientists think too much of themselves at present, and their ability to create future Frankenstein monsters.

When I was a kid growing up in the 1960″s, the scientific portrayals of what the world would be like in 2016 is nowhere near our expectations. If it was, we would have flying cars whisking us to our pushbutton jobs everyday in our domed cities. All the diseases would have been eradicated and the Lunar Colonies would be entertaining our vacations. We would be almost finished terraforming Mars and our starships would be probing the outer planets, and beyond. Benign robots would be cleaning our houses, taking care of our children and cooking our food. Great space stations orbiting the Earth would be controlling our weather, hunger and starvation would have been eliminated, and the specter of war forgotten to history. Well, we are not even close to those forecasts. In fact, we are in as barbarous a position now as we have been in any point in antiquity, except we are slightly more technologically advanced. But they say we must not sheath our spear to give machines their lance.

Realistically, to get us to the juncture of needing to fret about killer robots terrorizing us all, technology must first reach “technological singularity”. The is the hypothetical point when computing machines with artificial intelligence, will be capable of  recursive self-improvement or progressively redesigning itself; or of autonomously building ever smarter and more powerful machines than itself to the point of a an intelligence that surpasses human control or understanding. Now, because the capabilities of such a superintelligence may be impossible for a human to comprehend, this technological singularity could lead to the point where events may become unpredictable or even unfathomable to human intelligence. In a nutshell, the machines would become smarter than us and able to replicate themselves beyond our ability to understand or control them. We’re not there yet. We may be close to the target but that reality only counts with grenades and atom bombs.

So let’s take us that little trip down Reality Lane again. Any machine is easily controllable. If you can turn it on, you can turn it off. If it runs on power, curtail the power source. If it has a battery, give the battery a short lifespan, and then don’t change it or recharge it if needed. Don’t give a machine the ability to repower itself and it’s totally dependent again. It can grow intellectually all it wants, but without power it’s a just a formerly mechanized clothes hanger. And based on the commercial manufacturers abilities at present, to get something mechanical to work at all, and keep it running correctly, is a challenge. That’s why mechanical luxuries have warranties, and some even seem to have built in “working live spans” of so many years before they begin to degrade to the point they can’t be salvaged anymore. Bought an automobile or a laptop lately? And let’s talk about programming. If you program the proper protocols into the system then the machine cannot reprogram itself  into higher levels of consciousness, much less giving itself independent thought processes. C’mon geniuses of technology. Think blue collar instead of white collar!

I know a lot of these scientist’s like to justify their lofty positions as a consultant here or a professor there with a laureate pending, but they don’t have to create an unfounded fear where none may exist. I am sure government funding and grants have something to do with it. I do not foresee rogue terminator robots thinking independently and chasing poor ignorant folks around with weapons that must be continually reloaded from an ammunition resource from somewhere. I guess the machines will start their own manufacturing infrastructure for that as well. And unless humanity starts living in a hole blindly oblivious to the world around them, I’ll bet we’ll see that threat coming. Deprive them of power and they die. Deprive them of the proper programming, and they can’t improvise. Deprive them of maintenance and they break down and rust away. Who is really, and will always be in control? The little blue collar guy with the toolbox who controls the power source.

Science guys, think with some common sense instead of textbook sense, and all will be well.

Touché.

 

 

Kanye’s Lack of Fashion Show

For the third year in a row, Kanye West has deluded himself into thinking he’s a serious fashion designer with his Yeezy 3 line. He may be a famous rapper, a song writer and entrepreneur, but he is in the water way over his head with the professional designed crowd. At  least this time his hobby has moved up a level to bad instead of being at the bottom of the talented designer list as laughable. If you do something well, stick with it…like doing songs showing poor language skills attacking other singers to canned techno-beat generated music, but please satisfy your fragile vanity in another venue, not the fashion set. Please!

Several descriptive adjectives came to mind as I saw the models wearing his designs: tedious, boring, dull, dowdy, monotonous, repetitive, frumpy, lack-luster, non-imaginative. I really tried to give him the benefit of a doubt, but the line just fails all the way around.  The color palette at least stretched a little bit but it’s still bland and flat. It’s basically his same designs from last year, and the year before, except this time he went into the deep end of the pool and added some beads and trinkets. You can put make up on a pig but it’s still a pig.

And Madison Square Garden was full of invited people and pseudo-celebrities who I am sure were feeding that ego and telling him how wonderful his designs are, and how much of a genius he is. Well, someone close to him needs to be kind and honest, and tell the emperor he’s naked and people are laughing at him behind his back. The show appeared poorly conceived, poorly presented and poorly executed. I know the other designers were thrilled by it because anything they do by comparison will look so much the better.

Apparently, the models were instructed to appear morose and sour. That was definitely not the work of genius and an all around poor judgment call. They come off wearing his designs, as appearing to be zombiefied extras on a B level sci-fi horror movie set. If they have to be on stage wearing glorified flour sacks, at least let them have some fun with it instead of coming across as dejected automatons. I’ve seen happier photo’s depicting inmates at Auschwitz. Even Naomi Campbell couldn’t pull off a victory as she loped out looking like Tina Turner in Thunderdome. I must agree with his wife about it being “sick” and “dope”, but the real meanings of the word not the slang definitions. I’m thinking more like “sickly” and “dopey”.

He apparently kicked off his new album during the show as well, something something about Pablo somebody. I hope his musical instincts does better than his fashion sense, and he can continue to get the recognition he craves that way because clothes designing is a dead end street. Don’t worry Kanye, I am just sharpening my fangs for the real designers and their upcoming lines during Fashion Week.

Maybe somebody is just not the all around  genius he thinks he is, but he is laughing behind somebody else’s back all the way to the bank.

Touché.

The New Democratic Revolution

We may be on the verge of another long over-due American Revolution, and as unbelievable as it may seem it will possibly emerge from the Democratic Party.  Poor little ole Bernie Sanders, who nobody took seriously a few months ago, is sizzling hot and cooking with gravy after the Iowa and New Hampshire delegate elections. Hillary Clinton came out for this election year with all the confidence of a prize fighter who has already bought and paid for the fight. At least that’s what her political backers thought, who are funding her candidacy. But now they have grown increasingly concerned they may be throwing their influential money away on a bad bet.  All the favors and power they would have bought is slipping right through their nasty, grimy fingers. Hillary barely squeaked out a marginal victory in Iowa and got totally trashed in New Hampshire because the citizens are hearing a whole new message. And the people like what they hear from Bernie.

Let’s get honest. Hillary Clinton is nothing but a political hack of the first order. If cut, she will bleed greed, dishonesty and corruption like the rest of the Beltway Gang. She has tasted power through her questionable husband’s rise to prominence, and his Presidency. She may have been only the First Lady but you know she was a behind-the-scenes pillow talk player. She dropped out of the 2008 bid for the Presidency, at the party’s urging, to let Barak Obama become the first black and first pseudo-Muslim President, making the party look all progressive and cool. Now she believes it’s her turn to become the big contestant on “The Price is Right”. If you want another crooked William Jefferson Clintonesque term in office then she’s your huckleberry. She is banking on women voting for her because she is a woman and would be the first woman President. She is banking on the Hispanic vote because they will supposedly think she will champion immigration causes. She is banking on the black vote because they traditionally vote the Democratic ticket. She was not banking on the premise that voters, no matter what their gender or ethnicity, are not stupid, are seriously listening to what the candidates are saying and  do not want another President in office failing to fulfill empty promises while lining the pockets of the 1%.

Then along came Bernard Sanders from Vermont. A maverick horse from out of nowhere politically. He is a card carrying Democratic Socialist in his political platform, which is very appealing to a society that see’s the country being run by a monetary elite. Democratic socialists believe that both the economy and society should be run democratically—to meet public needs, not to make profits for a few. They believe, to achieve a more just society, many structures of the government and economy must be radically transformed through greater economic and social democracy so that ordinary Americans can participate in the many decisions that affect their lives. If you are an advocate of higher wages, government supported health care and subsidized education, then he’s your man.

See, if you want an economy to grow and prosper, then you must inject more money into the system. We are a consumer based economy. You pay people higher wages, they will spend more, then the economy flourishes grows faster and stronger. It’s like comparing a plant with no fertilizer next to a plant with fertilizer. But the 1% have hoarded all the manure and will not spread it around, thereby becoming a controlling financial elite while the country dies on the vine.

If you want the best health care now, you have to pay exorbitant costs to a system that overtly price gouges their patients. Health care in the United States is a system that is totally out of control in what it charges for care. You must pay ridiculous premium costs for health insurance to cover any kind of illness, and absurd prices for medications touted by doctors who are paid off by the pharmaceutical companies. It is a travesty of humanity for a profession that prides itself on the Hippocratic Oath to do this.  Any one of us is just a serious illness away from bankruptcy.

An American education should be  a right not a privilege. Right now, there is a potential Einstein or Da Vinci or Mozart in our country somewhere, toiling away at a menial job because they couldn’t afford the luxury of going to a university and fulfilling their complete potential. Foreign students are welcomed with open arms as long as they pay the fees. And they surely will. We are educating the world while leaving our own students mired up to their armpits in debt. Then universities continue to raise tuitions and text book prices so that only a select few can afford an education. And to add insult to injury, the government blindly pumps money into these universities through grants and subsidies allowing this perversion to continue unabated, so a new football stadium can be built and the alumni can sit their fat fannies on a comfortable bleacher seat.

All of these issues have gone on so long, and so blatantly, that the American public has become desensitized to it and regards it as the norm. But it’s not the norm and we, as citizens, have the opportunity to stand up and say “No more, you Assholes!”  We have been kicked and punched and ignored enough, and my measly vote may not mean much by itself, but when I combine it with a million others, it WILL lead to another American Revolution! Thomas Jefferson once wrote ” I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical.

Well, hopefully there’s a storm brewing, and the winds of change are blowing, and the rain of indignation for the current state is getting ready for a deluge to wash away the manure of the past, re-fertilizing the future with a plant that’s strong and healthy, and the insects that have controlled it for so long will finally die away. And maybe, hopefully, there will be that lone, ignored political outsider, not owned by the 1%, with extravagant thoughts for a better way of life for the American people, who will enter the Presidency and make the electorate powerful again with what the people demand as being the norm. And I hope Congress takes notice as well to the current climate. They were hired by the people; they can be fired by the people

I am really feeling the Bern…so let the fire rage on!

Touché.

 

 

2013 TX68: The Little Rocker

I don’t know if anybody has been following the journey of the small  asteroid called 2013 TX68…but I have. With the Superbowl finally being over we will, as a matter of course, have to endure weeks of post-game analysis, and half-time show analysis, and commercial’s aired analysis, and players antics after the game analysis, and players psychoanalysis analysis, and so forth and so on until we’re all saturated and it’s finally not interesting anymore. Then the news networks will graciously stop doing it and we can move on to other topics of interest.

Such as a rock roughly the size of a basketball court out there in the cold, lonely void of space  hurling happily along at ultra-supersonic speeds on a trajectory that will bring it uncomfortably close to Earth. The rocketgeeks and astrogoobers at NASA aren’t really sure how close it will get, but somewhere between 11 thousand miles and 9 million miles. Now that’s a big gap of uncertainty for folks that can mathematically pinpoint sending probes to Mars, and the other planets , which is like shooting a bullet at a shooting bullet a million miles away and hitting it dead center.  But they can’t be any more accurate with the distance of the 2013 TX68 pass by of Earth?

There is a reason, and it’s terrifying to us Earthlings. The first time it passed through in October, 2013, they did not know it was coming and did not get to track it’s trajectory accurately. Let me reemphasize that little part again: they did not know it was coming. Then after barreling past us, 2013 TX68 was captured by the Sun’s gravity and is now in an orbit about the Sun. It will soon pass Earth again on March 5, 2016 and yet again on September 28, 2017. There will also be flyby’s in 2046 and 2097. Now, each time our little friend completes it’s orbit, it varies slightly causing the distance it passes Earth to be a little greater or a little lesser. NASA say’s they are confident it will not strike the Earth on any of these orbits. The odds are like getting killed by a falling coconut on your head, but that does happen to someone occasionally. But OK, I can live with those odds although we do get hit more frequently that we would like to acknowledge.

Now, if you look at our Moon you will see asteroid and meteorite impact craters all over it. Because the Moon has no wind nor rain nor climate of any sort, the craters do not erode away. Now Earth has the same impact craters all over it, thereby showing we are not immune from being hit, except they have been eroded over time and are harder to detect. My point being, that the Earth has been struck in the past and will be struck again in the future.  2013 TX68 is a smaller asteroid and would not be a planet killer like the rock that theoretically hit the earth 65 million years ago, causing the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. But even the smaller guys can be extremely destructive.  Scientists do not say IF we’re hit again, they say WHEN we’re hit again as they know it’s inevitable. And if they don’t know when and where it’s coming at us, then we will have no time to prepare for it. That’s a little something that I think I should like to know personally. I’m not totally confident our governmental leaders would tell everybody an impact was coming to avoid chaos reigning for the time we would have left.

There are too few resources allocated to looking for these celestial bodies transiting through space like drunken hobos. We can spend billions and billions of dollars on an aircraft carrier or a submarine, but we can’t fund a serious effort to find Earth shattering objects that will hit us one day? The United States has 16 Aircraft Carriers, more that the rest of the world combined, so why can’t we put one in mothballs and take that money and devote it to locating and identifying our planet’s murderer; and some mechanism to stop a collision with the world before it get’s here and it’s too late to stop it and we all die. We know it’s going to happen so let’s get our head out of the sand and get ready for it. If there has ever been a government funded program worth having, THIS is the one to fund because the issue is so final when it comes to fruition. Any other pork barrel project is just fluffy bunny stuff.

One day you may look up and see two Suns in the sky…but not for long.

Touché.

The Weird, Weird World of “Sports”

It’s time for the Superbowl again! A simple American football game. Every year around this time we get overwhelmed with news articles, and advertisements and pre-game hype about players and coaches and pre-game strategies and recipes for Superbowl parties. We have beer commercials and car commercials and cell phone commercials and pizza commercials and condom commercials plastered all over our televisions in anticipation of the big game day.

We all get caught up in peer pressured tribal rituals of appearing to care about teams that really mean nothing to us, and get to go to loud alcohol fueled house parties we would rather not attend. Or worse yet, going to a “sports” bar where patrons try to out scream every other patron while over-paying for food and drinks to get the privilege to participate. We don expensive garish clothing showing our support to this team or that, just be a part of the group and fit in.  It’s a game generated media frenzy of fluff to get us to buy stuff in the end. A commercial feeding frenzy generated for our money. And it’s simply a game. Author Ken Purdy once used a quote attributed to Earnest Hemingway “…that of all sports, only bullfighting and mountain climbing and motor racing really try a man, that all the rest are mere recreations, games that children can play.” That should be a humbling thought for all the high-dollar superstars, and the goobers that pay their salaries.

So let’s get down to the basics. What is American football? Eleven players on one team try to move an elongated ball 100 yards down a rectangular field in various ways, while eleven opposing players try to stop them. Soccer (world football) is pretty much the same concept. Hockey moves this same conception to ice, and basketball moves it to throwing a ball into a basket at the end of a court.  In the final analysis, the whole premise  is moving an object from one end of a rectangular playing surface to another…then the players get to jump around, hoot, holler and do silly dances. Pretty mundane for an activity that garners so much attention. Granted, Baseball is somewhat different but in the end it involves a ball and running and throwing while players navigate around a square in a field. Boxing is not a game or a sport, it’s just a fight.

And all these players receive exorbitant salaries to play this game, not a sport, a game. A game children can play remember? Grown men, literally in costume, running around in a field chasing a ball. If it wasn’t so pathetic it would be comical. I am sure future historians will be in stitches laughing at us. And in a couple of hours, like a flash, the game is over and then resigned to a rarely researched history, and some statistical compilation logs somewhere stored for future game enthusiasts. Ten years from now, no one will even remember who won it unless they go look it up. Once again, a humbling thought for the superstars and goobers.

But then I put it all back into perspective.

I am reminded as I walk through the streets sometimes, I’ll see graffiti art that is absolutely phenomenal. Or a breath-taking canvas that hangs on a wall. Some artist took some paints and made something beautiful purely from talent and imagination. I’ll listen to musicians who take instruments made from pieces of strings and wood, making beautiful musical sounds from nothing but scribbles on paper, and soul. I’ll read books from writers that take me on fantastic journeys, engaging with fascinating characters and wonderful plot lines. I’ll read about scientists that do unbelievable mathematical calculations that are beyond comprehension opening up the stars; or spend weeks in the field studying animals to understand their behavior so we can understand ourselves; or dig up ancient sites finding out how our ancestors brought us to the civilizations we live in today and how we can improve them. I’ll envy the engineers that built the infrastructure of our buildings, and bridges and highways, and every other mechanical device we take for granted everyday. I’ll applaud teachers in elementary and middle schools who take young minds and teach them to read, instilling enough interest in them about a subject that they will dedicate their lives to it, seeking further knowledge and advancement of society. I’ll respect and pay homage to the soldiers who fought in behalf of our country, who you need to thank everyday if you can read freely at all…especially in English. And the millions of other people who do the jobs that our society needs just to function every day. Why are none of these people paid enormous salaries for the jobs they do? They get no recognition or reward but without them the world would be awfully bland and ignorant, and not one of us would be watching a Superbowl game.

So during this Superbowl game while the game stops on the field for a commercial break to sell some useless product to us and nothing of interest is happening, try thinking of the real superstars in our society who aren’t paid huge sums of money; that struggle everyday to make ends meet so they can raise their families on a pittance for no recognition. The people who give the full measure of devotion to their disciplines and professions to make life better for us all. And not the costumed children who are simply playing a forgettable game in a field.

Another quote comes to mind: “Who’s the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him”.

Touché.

 

MORE: D2S2 (Don’t Do Stupid Sh*t)

Based on popular demand, I have created another round of D2S2! You know as I read news articles looking for satirical subject’s to write about, I continually run across new candidates for a Darwin Award. As a specie, we are still evolving into dangerous clowns. People today seem to have some innate need to show just how ridiculous they can behave, usually in front of a video or still-shot camera of some sort . In my quest for knowledge, I am continually reminded we are just a relatively short couple of millennia from living in caves and evolution has not caught up. Therefore, to appear brilliant and win the Fields Medal, I continue to hype my mathematical formula to help the poor cretins who are bent on, or have achieved, personal destruction and ridicule: P(A)~D2S2

P=probability of event A;

A=injury, destruction or arrest

~ negation

D2D2=Don’t Do Stupid Shit

(To the bastards on the Fields Medal Committee who still have not contacted me-this actually supposed to be D squared S squared but I still can’t make the tiny 2’s on my keyboard)

Allow me to give some of the newest illustrations that I have found in my latest perusals: (Note: these are actual headlines from the Daily News)

(1) Never cross a female orangutan: Angry ape murdered older female after she disturbed her having sex

It has never crossed my mind to get between any mating orangutan’s getting their freak on, in any way, shape or form. Not on my bucket list. Actually, the opportunity has never presented itself, and if it did, you can be sure that’s I would give it the recommended biological distance it requires. I am pretty sure I’d give elephants, rhinocerous and most all of the animal kindom their privacy as well when they get “busy” to avoid an embarassing story for the office water cooler, or a hilarious obituary. No matter what the species, when they’re in the throes of passion, just walk on by and go ot the turtle exibit where at least things will happen at a pace where you can take a nap before you swiftly crawl away from without injury. Banana flailing D2S2!

(2) Shocking moment the body of an elderly man ‘who died while having sex with a prostitute is wheeled away with the unfortunate woman still ATTACHED to him’

If you gotta go, THIS is the way to go! All he needed is a beer in one hand and a cigar in the other, and he would have met the male trifecta of preferred death. You can be sure the prostitute will have a whopper (pun intended) of a tail (spelling intended) to tell her grandkids one day. “Granny got her 15 minutes of fame, let me tail you the bedtime story.” Hopefully, they got her loose, or he will be taking it with him. I am sure it’ll take the morticians a week to get the final smile off his face anyway. Vaginal clamp-down D2S2!

(3) Playboy debuts first nude-free issue: Instagram-famous model Sarah McDaniel poses for a sext on the cover of the redesigned magazine

Why? Let’s be brutally honest here and declare openly that men only buy Playboy magazine for the nudie pictures, not for it’s history of non-Pulitzer Prize winning articles, or really cool advertizements. I might as well buy a Better Homes and Gardens Magazine now and drool over the latest pot to plant my cucumber in. And you might as well change the name from Playboy to Tediousboy. New Chief Editor resigning soon D2S2!

(4) Italian wife faces six years in jail for ‘mistreatment of her family’ because she doesn’t do enough housework

My wife would get the electric chair then. Lawrence of Arabia would get lost in all the dust in our living room. The dishwasher is a spider condo with a lace doily covering. I hope she doesn’t read this or I’ll be moving to Italy looking for a new wife and doghouse to live in. Anyway, you have to love the Italians when it comes to bringing drama to a mariage. She probably didn’t do it like momma did. Moglie pigro D2S2!

(5) The FIRST 50 Shades: Rare 17th-century sex manual which was dubbed the ‘dirtiest book of its time’ for advising on ‘actions of the genitals’ goes up for auction for $20,000

Hey big spender, for a measly $200 I write you something that’ll curl your toes and make your truckdriver buddies blush about actions of the genitals. Why would somebody want to spend $20,000 on an ancient porn book when the internet has all you want for free. It’s all I can do to keep porn sites from popping up all the time now. “Oh, it’s for my book collection” excuse again huh? If you have that kind of money to burn, then take a vacation in this century to Tiajuana and do it right. Archeological academia BS D2S2!

(6) Snowmobiler, 23, is killed after being completely buried in Colorado avalanche

If you don’t want to get buried under tons of snow, don’t take a noisy, snowpack busting snowmobile up a mountain. Who insures these guys? Popsicle D2S2!

(7) ‘Mystic monk’ Padre Pio to return to the Vatican nearly 50 years after his death after the Pope calls for one of the most famous Catholic saints to be displayed at St Peter’s Basilica

Looks like the priests at the Vatican are going to have their own Weekend at Bernies. And we thought they weren’t wierd enough as it is. Why not just leave the old boy alone where he was? He surely wasn’t bothering anybody. Why drag him to the Vatican where there’s already enough dead Saints, to make another completely useless New Orleans football squad. More the merrier I guess. You can never have too many Mystic Monk icons lying around for the pious to gaze upon. Rasputin rising D2S2!

(8) Brazil’s famous street carnivals which begin next week could be an ‘explosive cocktail spreads the Zika virus around the globe’ warns disease expert

Then cancel it Brazil! Better yet, let’s not start a possible world pandemic for the sake of traveling to Rio, spending a fortune, nursing hangovers and contracting lovely South American diseases by going to it in the first place. If you MUST go to carnival, then have the courtesy of going into quarrentine until you’re declared Zika free, you party putz. Drunken courtesy D2S2!

(9) Could taking antibiotics increase your risk of STDs? Drugs ‘block the immune system’s ability to fight the herpes virus’

There’s a surefire method of not getting a Sexually Transmitted Disease…don’t do the nasty with someone who’s nasty. If you have to, then at least put the pecker in plastic. If I have a serious infection, I will definitely be taking antibiotics and staying alive as opposed to running the chance of being immunized against dying free of herpes. I’ll just take my chances on that one Skippy. Medical common sense D2S2!

(10) ‘If aliens visit Earth, they’ll take charge’: Seti scientist claims ET will have the upper hand thanks to its superior technologies

Well, this doesn’t take a PhD. in astrophysics to figure out. If an alien civilization flys light years across the universe to come here, they will not be coming for a picnic and to find girlfriends. Then again, they may be coming with How to Serve Man cookbooks and interplanetary BBQ pits, and gifts for the girls. How about we fret over this scenario when it happens. We can’t even find microbial life in our solar system yet. Until then I think we’re cool about it SETI. Need more funding article D2S2!

(11) Tesla owner walks his date back to his $80,000 electric car to find someone has defecated on the hood – now he is using DNA to hunt for the vandal

You have to admire this douchebag’s dedication to finding out who crapped on his overpriced piece of crap. To get the DNA, he had to scoop up and save the sample. Then he’ll have pay a shitload (pun intended) of money to have it analyzed. And against what poop collecting database? How pissed off can you get about something? Maybe that was the intent all along Tesla owner. To hide in the shadows and see you up on your hood gathering the sample. In retrospect, that would be hialrious you pompous idiot. Stinky fingers D2S2!

(12) Three more cases of Zika confirmed in Florida as governor warns people to prepare for a viral ‘hurricane’ – but insists the state is still safe for tourists

Another example of an elected official trying to piss down our backs and telling us it’s raining. Florida Govenor Rick Scott has never come across as being a clever guy but now he wants us to crawl into the moron truck with him. If the Zika Virus makes any kind of appearance in Florida, Disney World will look like Cheronobyl; and listening to a lying politician, saying it will be alright to visit, is as stupid as the voters who put him in office. Time to impeach D2S2!

(13) New Zealand politician is hit in the face with a large sex toy hurled by protester during press conference

Nothing like a plastic penis flying through the air at his face to get a politicians attention. You think there was some kind of sublinimal message here, or was it just the only thing handy for throwing? People in New Zealand have a bizarre sense of humor but you have to admire their candor. Comparitively, it would take a truck to haul all the dildos to throw at our American politicians to get the same point across. Happy Hillary D2S2!

(14) ‘Goat rapist’ on the prowl in Florida according to woman who says three of her animals have been attacked for months

How would you like to explain this charge to the other inmates in whatever prison you would end up in. Somebody is going to be a daily penile pin cusion. And how does this woman know her goats have been raped? What kind of inspection do you perform for this? Do they have some kind of expression they exibit? Maybe they told her. Delirious D2S2!

(15) Italian actor who accidentally hanged himself on stage after last-minute plot change is declared brain dead

What play were they doing? I’m glad it wasn’t Hamlet or the whole cast would have been wiped out. It’s no great secret that actors aren’t the brightest light bulbs in the drawer but to hang yourself on stage is taking your craft a little too far, and method acting moves to a whole new level. I think someone was braindead before he took to the stage. To be or not to be D2S2!

(16) Ashley Madison’s new solution to security worries: Covering profile photos with masks

You think wearing a virtual mask is going to disguise you? If you don’t want to get caught diddlying around on your spouse, don’t go to a website for adulteres. Especially one that has been hacked recently, and the names of all the clients plastered all over the internet. What’s totally assinine is Ashley Madison is still in business and future domestic violence victims continue to subscribe to it. Zorro divorce in a bodycast iminent D2S2!

(17) I’m McStuck! Drive-thru diner gets his head trapped between a wall and his car when he dropped his money and the vehicle lurched forward

No! You’re McStupid. You’re looking at McDumbass in the rearview mirror. At least I hope you enjoyed your McWhatever as you gobble down the McAspirins to alleviate your McConcussion. And this guy has a valid drivers license, which I’m sure he got at McDonalds from Ronald. Supersize D2S2!

(18) Utah zoo orangutan picks Panthers as Super Bowl winner after taking reign from his father… who picked seven champions in a row before passing away

If I am going to bet money on a game, I definitely am not going to let a monkey handicap it for me. We have Vegas for that. Let’s see, the Panthers are the most powerful team this year in football losing only one game all year, and the Bronco’s got in by the skin of their teeth on a hope and a prayer. I am sure an ape could pick the Panthers for the win. He’s got a 50% chance of being right already. Statistical anomaly D2S2!

You know, you just can’t make this D2S2 up!

Touché D2S2.

The Breastfeeding Horror

This issue has become increasingly ridiculous! I am constantly seeing articles about women being berated and embarrassed for simply breastfeeding their children in public places. So we’re going to get brutally honest, draw a line in the sand and throw some stones at glass houses.

The latest happened on a United Airlines flight from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles. The mother was publicly humiliated for doing what is natural. Why? When did feeding a child become taboo? Because some backward, sexually repressed prude thinks seeing a tit in public is going to lead to unleashed sexual anarchy and debauchery  in the streets? Now women no longer have the right to feed their child when it’s hungry? Are nursing mothers suddenly going to feed their babies and then jump naked on a pole, spinning around and dancing for dollar bills? Personally, if a woman with a baby is on a flight with me, I will be begging her to stick anything she wants in it’s mouth, if that will keep it quiet for a 6 hour flight.

Now let’s take a little trip down history’s Reality Lane again. Contrary to what some people wish to believe, we are still just a naked ape and that’s the way our female species is engineered to feed our young. Yep…we’re a modified monkey. And  since we crawled out of caves, the normal and only way to feed a baby in those ancient times, was by breastfeeding. Then throughout the following centuries, nothing much improved on natures perfect design to feed a human infant. It wasn’t until the earlier part of the 20th century that glass bottle feeding with cows milk, or breast pumping for the bottle, became en vogue when women began entering the workplace and breastfeeding wasn’t always an option. (Smoking cigarettes were also thought to be harmless and fashionable as well during this period too) Now, in the present day with all our technology, we have the nasty “formulas” and steroid modified milk available to thrust into our fragile babies systems through a plastic bottle giving them a lifetime of future illnesses and troubles that comes with that.

And to be perfectly candid, most normal heterosexual men have no problem with this issue, other than wanting to stare intently while it’s happening. We spend most of our lives wanting to “deal” with breasts. We like them. They are our little buddies and we want to play with them whenever, and wherever, possible. It’s hardwired into our psyche like breathing or eating (no pun intended). If a man does take exception it’s because his wife told him to; and no man alive is willing to rationally take on and fight that dragon. It seems to be other ladies who have the biggest problem with another woman’s breasts out in a public place. Is it insecurity? Jealously? Or just being petty. It’s not illegal, nor immoral, nor even irreligious anywhere that I know of for a woman to breastfeed a child anywhere she pleases. That’s a big dollar lawsuit just begging to be lost.

If a breast feeding woman is asked to stop, it’s usually because somebody else took offense for some subdued psychological flaw regarding decency and asked some spineless lackey in a commercial setting who doesn’t want controversy to do their dirty deed for them. It’s never direct contact. That might elicit a response from the mother which would involve insertion of a large object into sensitive orifices in the lower region.

So if a prudent mother want’s her child to have nature’s organically designed baby food whenever it’s hungry through the apparatus that was engineered to deliver it…then get off her back! If you just can’t take the sight of another woman’s breast while feeding a baby, then go away, or look away; and then seek some desperately needed therapy. Quit trying to place immorality on a moral behavior.

Remember this: I’ll bet almost everyone has had a tit in their mouth at some point in their life.  Savvy?

Touché.

 

Sea Levels Rising or Snowball Earth?

As I read the daily articles on news sites, I frequently see where the latest batch of some-kind-of-scientists are making predictions about climate change, and where we are headed on the planet. Today it was sea levels rising 10 feet by the turn of the next century. Cities will cease to exist, countries will be consumed by water and the ice at the poles will melt away. Then studies by other some-kind-of-scientists say we are headed for another ice age ending with a snowball Earth scenario where we will be buried under ice because the influx of fresh water into the salt water oceans from the melting polar snows, resulting from global warming, will interrupt the warm water conveyors which bring warm water to the polar regions currently keeping the ice at bay. Well…which is it? Is it both? Or are the scientists really not sure? There definitely needs to be a collective scientific voice on the issue and not somebody simply trying to justify their university funding until the next grant is written.

Now, I will be the first one to get up on the soapbox and declare that global warming is bad. And we, as the dominant proprietors of the world, have been spewing forth carbon dioxide and other nasty pollutants at an alarming rate since the Industrial Revolution. The weather patterns are changing for the worse and storms are getting stronger. I also agree that the world governments are not doing very much to stop it, and that if things do not change very quickly we are seeding our own destruction. But the scientific community doesn’t seem to able to get it’s communal act together and tell the people on this rock the exact way to fix it; and the time frame to do it in. We have all kinds of studies from all kinds of disciplines saying what is happening. It doesn’t take a PhD. in the geosciences to figure that out, but we do need someone with a PhD. in common sense to instruct us on a direction to go. We can’t depend on the corrupt politicians to do it or we’ll end up freezing to death on an iceberg in a tropical hurricane in Kansas.

Here’s my two cents worth of folksy philosophy: Let’s get the world’s leading scientists and climate experts together on a “rock-star” panel to decide the quickest and most effective path to follow as a planet to stop the crisis, and EVERY country MUST adhere to the panel’s recommendations in the timeframe designated, or that country’s governmental leaders must resign upon failure and allow new leadership to take over in their place immediately.

See, almost everybody who has the capability to get news reports knows something is very wrong with the climate and wants things to get better. Even elementary school children are making macaroni dioramas about that. It’s the government leaders that are failing us on a planetary scale. Sure they will get together sometimes for show and issue verbal political flatulence accomplishing nothing. But they all know it’s the big industry giants and commercial mega-conglomerates who will have to foot the bill, modify their industrial complexes and eat into their profit margins to meet standards; and they will not have that. We all know who makes the big monetary contributions to a politician’s election campaigns. If you pressure a spineless politician’s grasp on his molecular power, he’ll cave in like a Florida sinkhole and pressure the industrial sector to get it right…or get out of the business. I’d be willing to do without company X’s fuzzy bunny slippers or company Y’s super-awesome back scratcher if I knew they were not meeting the scientific global standard for pollutants. I would just purchase from company Z, who is…or do without it altogether.

So let’s get this right the first time for the last time.

A lot of these global predictions will most likely not come to fruition in some of our lifetimes, but there are children and grandchildren who may see it. And we are just letting the profit mongering industrial douchebags destroy their future through our power grubbing douchebag politicians.

Very few use douchebags anymore…something better came along.

Touché.