Modern Runway Models

Is it just me, or is it one of the most hysterical things on the planet to see a high-dollar fashion model face plant herself while walking down a New York or Paris runway in 10 inch stiletto heels. All you see is bony arms flailing and scrawny legs waving and hair weaves flying as she tumbles to the floor in the most undignified way. Looks like a granddaddy long legs spider dancing on a hot plate, and the more I see it happen, the funnier it gets.

And I guess it’s because these haute couture beauties get paid a lot of money to come prancing down the runway looking like skeletons that have been sucking on persimmons eluding an air of “Yes ugly peasants, I am beautiful and you are not”, looking straight ahead into the distance as if anyone else doesn’t exist except themselves while they wear a bunch of overpriced rags that a dozen drunk monkeys could have thrown together in a box tumbling in a washing machine.

And what hidden, left-over German World War II concentration camp do the modeling agencies and fashion designers go to recruiting these models. I mean really. It’s understood that most male fashion designers belong to the LGBT community and want their models to look like prepubescent boys. That’s creepy enough. But if the majority of the sane population want to see what clothes will realistically look like on a woman, they want to see some curves in there somewhere.  A bump here, a lump there. Not a boyish clothes hanger with spindly limbs. Come on fashion gurus, throw us a bone here (no pun intended). Maybe there was an election that was held about the Auschwitz look and we just missed it. And now our vote will never count as they will never hold another ballot.

I will go out on a limb here and state that most of the population doesn’t belong to the LGBT community and we would like to see real women modeling clothes again like in the era before Twiggy. She popped on to the scene in the late 60’s and bony has been the look ever since. What happened to the Marilyn Monroe or Liz Taylor look in the pre-Twiggy epoch. Those were women who could model clothes. The were beautiful, glamorous and filled in all the slots very nicely. Of course the trade-off is they aren’t  near as funny falling on the runway as the bone-bags are. C’est la vie.

And let’s not forget the boy models

. (You’ll note I didn’t say men) Could someone throw them a razor now and then. For some reason, the scraggly, three-day beard look has rooted itself in their look and hobo chic must be the new thing. Missed that vote too.

The next time I hang out with Karl Lagerfeld (who dresses like a Gothic vampire) I will share my views.

From what I see, the fashion Emperor is naked and no one is telling him.

Touch’e.

 

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